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How Long Have I Been On Fire?

by Gaytheist

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1.
I’m treading water in the darkness of the sea I’m drifting farther, I guess I’m far out, I’m way too deep Oh won’t you join me in the darkness enveloping Oh won’t you dive in, take my hand Sink with me Treading water on the darkness of the sea SOS Oh SOS Oh rescue me I’m drifting farther, guess I’m far out, I’m way too deep SOS Oh SOS Oh rescue me Ah oh! Ah oh! Come and rescue me Ah oh! Ah oh! Come and sink with me
2.
Don’t let them tell you You’re falling behind Just because you’re not number one all the time Yeah it’s a crime They ever spoke to you that way What I am trying to say Is that you are A OK What I am trying to convey is that you are Super great And I see a room of marble and stone One flick of your wrist and it crumbles to dust And I see a moat surround an iron fortress One glance from you and its just steam and rust Then it crumbles to dust Placating symphony Historical mystery I must be onto something Orally rhetorical Is it so horrible To question everything Questioning everything And I see a room of marble and stone One flick of your wrist and it crumbles to dust And I see a moat surround an iron fortress One glance from you and its just steam and rust Then it crumbles to dust Don’t answer Don’t answer the call
3.
I don’t want to talk about my shitty day at work today No, I’m not mad at you It’s not you, It’s me I don’t want to hear it I don’t want to know it I don’t want to see it I don’t want to show it I don’t want to know a goddamn thing Keep in the dark under lock and key It’s not you, It’s never you, It’s me I don’t want to hear it I don’t want to know it I don’t want to see it I don’t want to show it I don’t want to know a goddamn thing Keep in the dark under lock and key
4.
Crooked 01:08
I am racing against my own time I am tracing chalk white outlines I’m erasing the scene of the crime I am pacing for them to arrive Answered all the questions I checked the right boxes Tomorrow night I'll be on patrol again
5.
Hornswoggled 01:52
Long term lies come to fruition They refer to them as plans Then you show your first sign of weakness They descend We are duped Deceived Bamboozled Hornswoggled They are duped Bamboozled We are duped Hornswoggled Pretty soon they take something of value Pretty soon they got something of yours Pretty soon they take something of value Some of us more often than others We are duped Deceived Bamboozled Hornswoggled
6.
Bring me your fetid delights I must dine on them Bring me your fetid delights They’re my only sustenance And well are we Each a micro cosmic tragedy And are we Each the punchline in a grander comedy Why would I ever blame myself How could I ever blame myself And I blame The loss of one fight And I blame The lack of foresight And I blame The lack of one upright role model OK I blame myself I blame myself And no one else
7.
I never wanted to see it I didn’t want to believe it Now there’s pictures of your corpse Seared inside my mind They said they’re going to need dental records I said I recognize the ring on that finger I know you fellas see this all the time But it just aint right Now there’s pictures of your corpse online For anybody else to find I’ve heard of some fucked up shit But this crosses the line
8.
I don’t know what it is I did And I don’t really care what it is you do I see that stare I know your scared Let me sooth your mood dude Am I foreign language to you Am I international ta boot Come across these borders You can cross these borders Hey Are you My border patrol Get in here by any means Cause I’m right here on my fucking knees (fuck yeah) Get in here illegally I have so much to show you (fuck yeah) Is this a criminal action? Is this infernal infraction? (fuck yeah) Get across these borders Come inside these borders Hey Are you My border patrol
9.
Anticestry 01:52
I have no ancestry I have no heritage I’ve no name to claim as my own I was left on this smoldering stone And I said that id never cry But ok now I just might And I said that Id never try But alright now I just might I stand on the shoulders of giants Burn them down Lay there ashes before me And I said I’ve no family line Ok, maybe I lied I said that I’d rather die But look at me now I’m just taking lives
10.
I must have control Over your body I am a man after all I stand appalled when I look in the mirror Do I not have a mother of my own Treat half the world as a second-class citizen Reduced to a supporting role I am ashamed at what I’ve become A flaming asshole with a right to every gun I’m just another man with no discernible plan Oh please stop me before I strike again I must have legislative control Over your body Or I just might lose it all
11.
Joy will be replaced with despair Despair will be replaced with joy I don’t know I don’t know if I care I can’t breathe I can’t breathe up here I don’t know I don’t know if I care I can’t breathe the air down here All choices, All choices Joy will be replaced with despair Despair will be replaced with joy I don’t know I don’t know if I care I can’t breathe I can’t breathe up here I don’t know I don’t know if I care I can’t breathe the air down here All choices, All choices All choices end in death In death I don’t know I don’t know if I care
12.
I’ve no right to even speculate I’m not much for history, politics (demagogues and parlor tricks) But lately it seems Either my paranoia’s got the best of me Or the sound of a distant scream… Cries away at the back of my skull Is everywhere one degree from folding in on itself We’ll all be refugees No asylum to be found When the fire in the sky Matches the fire on the ground.
13.
Please don’t go, don’t leave my side Please don’t go away Please don’t go off on your own Please don’t go again Again, Again Please don’t go don’t leave me here I aint got nobody else Please don’t leave me here to fend all by myself I know I said I would be gone when you get back But here I am a foolish man with nothing to show for it Please don’t go, don’t leave my side Please don’t go away Please don’t go off on your own Please don’t go again Again, Again Please don’t go don’t leave me here I aint got nobody else Please don’t leave me here to fend all by myself I know I said I would be gone when you get back But here I am a foolish man with nothing to show for it I have nothing to show for it Don’t go, Don’t go, Don’t go!

about

Vinyl and cd can be ordered directly from HEX Records:
hexrecords.bandcamp.com/album/gaytheist-how-long-have-i-been-on-fire

credits

released April 10, 2020

Gaytheist is:

Jason Rivera
Nickolis Parks
Timothy Hoff

All music performed by Gaytheist
Lyrics by Jason Rivera

Recorded and engineered by Stephan "Glancing Blow" Hawkes, June 2019 at Interlace Studios in Portland, OR

Interior Photos by James Rexroad
Cover photo James Rexroad
Post Image Production: Cameron Jackman
Layout: Jason Rivera and Ryan Canavan

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Gaytheist Portland, Oregon

Since Jan 2011.

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